Butte-Fly

for anime fans, if you are reading this, and you see the title head, it comes from chapter 9, book 12 of hayate no gotoku...

kinds souls are still around. Damn rain fell on me a little too sudden (just when my psp and my newly bought mangas are on my hand... braving the rain, i put everything into my bag, had my body shielding it, and ran for my life...

good thing that there's one kind lady, who offer to share with me her umbrella, while the rest of the not- too- kind- people just stood there, well shielded, and looking at my pitiful state...

me and my kakis (term for friends) once talked abt kindness (it even appear on mindef intranet forum!). many once believe that kindness will not be repaid, and there is no such thing as pure kindness. well, i suppose it's true. can't blame me if i am thinking like that.

does the kindness that you give out is motivated through pure goodwill?? or was it just a stepping stone to gain something for yourself, like a favor in return? or some comfort to your empty heart? well, I did both, out of pure goodwill, and was hoping to feel better. I don't deny. call me a swine looking hypocrite you want, but before that, have a little talk with your inner self, whether the kindness you did is always for others, and non for yourself.

not too long ago, I was chatting with this lady who was once in my secondary school class (it was just a simple greeting for a happy new year, and we talked for like 3 hours).

she asked me this social question, but sadly, I couldn't remember (I swear that coffee made me forget). I told her that this world is made out of lies.

yeah, lies. with the world moving as such a fast pace these days, I couldn't help but to say that everyone's personality changed, bit by bit, we started to be less and less caring, less and less tolerant and less and less truthful. our personality has been evolving and splitting up into many personlities. not split personalities, just multiple personalities.

we may talk to our superior in a very kind, soft courteous way, to an unknown stranger who needs help in direction, we did the same way too. and together with friends, we are more opened, yet still very reserved. and to our loved ones, we might tend to become fustrated, angry and impatient.

the darkness in our heart grew, bits everyday

try slapping both of your plams together, like praying. what do you actually see in there. try standing under the light, and what do you see?

Darkness and emptiness.

it should only appear when both parties who don't know each other met. but when we know each other, the darkness will change into light and warmth.]

Light give birth to dark, and Dark give birth to light. the law of nature, the law of the universe.

it's never too late to recognise that piece of darkness in your heart, no matter how hard it is, how tough it is to accept, to overcome and to enjoy the light again. but never forget, darkness will always be there.